Michelle Devaney My name is Michelle Devani, and I’ve been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.

2. After Leaving The Restaurant

Before you start holding her hand, make sure that she is comfortable. Do you feel like he kind of takes you for granted?
Unfortunately this is one of the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they feel they aren’t a priority for their boyfriend or husband. They always seem to have some excuse as to why they can’t spend some quality time with you like they used to. To see if he actually likes you take this quick free quiz and we’ll let you know if it’s worth putting any more time into this guy.

When To Hold Her Hand

Last updated on June 8, 2022 by Michelle Devani But before starting to hold their hand, you obviously don’t want to turn it into an awkward situation like How to Hug Someone Without Making It Awkward especially when you tend to be really nervous. That’s why, you need to know the clever ways.

10. Casually Accept The Rejection

Holding hands is one of the best ways to show affection. We can let our partner knows how much we want them by doing it. However, you may be nervous if it is your first time to try holding a girl’s hand. It actually doesn’t matter whether it is your girlfriend, crush, or someone you only know for days, you should try to hold their hand to make a move whatever the reason. Some of the first date when smoothly when you complete it with holding the hand. But, you also need to read the situation first whether it is good or not to make a move. Check also Signs Your Hookup Has Feelings for You.

More Tips To Start Holding Her Hand

1. First Date

The effective maneuver is you grab her hand by sliding your hand beneath her finger. Just do it slowly especially it is such a bold move when you are sitting.

8. Do It While Walking

It is also clever way you can try. You may want to make it looks like a coincidence such as when you want to grab your drink but grab her hand instead. Simple yet cute though! Here are more tips to start holding her hand. You should learn this too Things You Should Know Before Dating an INFJ. Give a little massage at the hand hold will surely make her at ease.

6. Move Your Hand Intimately

1. Making Your Approach

9. Kiss Her Hand

First of all, you have to make a move if you want to holding her want. Don’t rush it and take it slow. You can start it by making an eye contact then you can put yourself at ease. If you want to make it a bit cheesy, you may want to kiss her hand before or when you’re already holding her. It would make her giggling a little. Even though you want it so much, avoid start to hold her hand at rush. If you happen to meet this kind of situation, try to be relaxed and casually accept the rejection. You can also make a joke to break the ice. If your girl crush is the shy one, you have to be more careful when you make a move. They usually nervous at the beginning even though they want it as much as you do.

Here Are Clever Ways To Get A Girl To Hold Your Hand

So, to help you getting through this, here are clever ways to get a girl to hold your hand. It would give her the sensation when you’re holding her hand. You can try to hold your girl crush after leaving the restaurant. Try it and you’ll see! Here are clever ways to get a girl to hold your hand. If you prolong the time you’ll eventually lose you chance to do this. Therefore, go on and start to move you hand intimately right into her hand. To give more reassurance, you can also do it by holding her hand. So clever! Here are clever ways to get a girl to hold your hand. Place down your hand when you are sitting next to her. That’s the more reason you should get closer every time you are walking together.

5. Do An Effective Maneuver

5. Don’t Rush It

4. Be As Relaxed As Possible

4. Read The Situation

3. Massage Her Hand

Going the park while holding hand is a perfect kind of date everyone wants.

7. Make It Looks Like A Coincidence

1. She Is Comfortable

2. Get Closer

Here are clever ways to get a girl to hold your hand. You have to learn the situation which is knowing how to take a break. If you don’t, you might get a rejection and even worst it becomes an awkward situation. Here are clever ways to get a girl to hold your hand. We know everyone might be nervous at the first try. However, you need to be as relaxed as possible so it won’t lead you to an awkward scenario.

3. Carefully Make Contact

4. Crossing The Road

3. Strolling At The Park

2. Gentle Pinching The Hand Hold

Don’t forget to also read the situation to know whether it is the right time to hold her hand or not yet. Therefore, carefully when you are trying to approach and hold her hand. To learn it more, check this to help you Signs A Woman Likes You but Is Shy. Here are clever ways to get a girl to hold your hand. When you’re both walking side to side, make sure you let her know that it is safe to be around you. You can show her that you are able to keep her safe by holding her hand such as when you’re crossing the road. Here are the right time when to hold her hand. Some people are really uncomfortable with public displays of affection *PDA*. They might think that holding hands, putting their arms around someone, or kissing a girl in public is cheesy or embarrassing. He might just want to do it in private. Just because you’re comfortable with showing your feelings to the whole world doesn’t mean he is. Once he agrees, grab him by the wrist and place your other hand over his for comparison. Innocently remark how big his hands are. From there, go for the hand capture where you lock fingers together or caress his hand while making eye contact. [Read: 21 traits that make you the cutest couple]

2. Flirt with him a little

13. Look and smell good

Some guys are just “smooth operators.” In other words, they are strategic and calculating. So, if this is true, he knows exactly what he is doing by not holding your hand. Of course, you’re nervous about how to get him to hold your hand. But he’s probably nervous too. If he’s young, then he might not have a lot of experience. So holding your hand might feel risky to him. Try to have a calm, friendly, and relaxing demeanor. That will put him more at ease so he’ll feel more comfortable reaching out for your hand. Then, move your finger so that it slightly brushes against his several times. If he touches your fingers back, be confident. He wants to hold your hand! [Read: 15 subtle flirting moves to bring them closer to you effortlessly]

9. Compare your hand sizes

Flirting is another way to let your man know you’re comfortable with him. You don’t mind if he dares to hold your hand. Light flirting is a good way to ease tensions and relieve any existing awkwardness that discourages you both. [Read: These 40 flirty questions will leave your guy thinking of you alone]

1. It shows he likes you

Just because some guys don’t like holding hands, not all of them are like that. But, maybe holding hands means something different to him than it does to you. So, let’s explore some of the possible things that it means to some guys. There is just something about getting your hands held that gives off a comforting feeling. The enveloping size of his hand, the warmth of his touch, and that subtle gentleness of his grip despite his strength give a woman a feeling of love and security in such a simple gesture.

8. Use the “lingering high five” trick

If you’re not already dating the guy, and you’re just hanging out with him, then he could be shy. You might be interested in him, but he may not know that. And let’s face it – guys are human too. [Read: How to make a guy incredibly horny just by sitting next to him] There are some random moments when both your hands accidentally or intentionally touch. When something like this happens and his hand happens to rest on yours, let it stay there. Then, smile back at him. It’s a good invitation when it comes to showing a guy that it’s okay to hold your hand. Holding hands is the start of physical intimacy. It can lead to more, of course, like kissing. Whether you are just friends *but interested in him romantically* or if you’re already in a relationship and want to get your boyfriend to be more touchy, you can do it. [Read: Why don’t guys ask me out? 18 true reasons that may hold the answer] By removing this “touch barrier,” you give your man that figurative blessing and encourage him to make a move.

16. Do it yourself

This might not be directly related to hand-holding, but when you look your best and smell good, it’s natural for a guy to want to be closer and more intimate with you. So, make sure you keep up with your hygiene, dress attractively, and put on some perfume. That will help get him in a romantic mood. [Read: How to dress sexy – 29 subtle and classy ways to make them lust for you]

12. Be confident

Whether you are on a date or just hanging out, walk side by side and take his arm with your hand. This is appropriate when a girl is being “escorted” by a guy, regardless of how old you are. This will make him feel dominant – like a real man – and will help him be more comfortable initiating physical contact. It’s also unspoken permission for him to touch you. Both men and women love to hold the hand of the person special to them, but sometimes they are afraid to do so. But if motivated enough, this is how you can get a guy to hold your hand.

10. Use the right moment to lead him by the hand

If you want your hand to be held, make sure it is free and available. Make sure that your hand-holding hand is free from your phone, purse, and out of your pocket. If you sit next to him, place that hand just about near his reach but not too close that it touches. The rest will be up to him to decide.

11. Make it happen when you are alone

Remove the “touch barrier.” One thing girls must know is guys are wary of initiating hand-holding out of respect for a girl’s personal space. In order to encourage guys to make a move, women should let guys know they won’t mind having their hands held.

2. It’s a way to play hard to get

This technique is a classic in the ‘how to get a guy to hold your hand’ playbook. Best done during awkward silent moments; first, ask if you can borrow his hand.

4. Close in on him

3. It shows he wants to make the relationship physical

Want to get out of a boring party? Grab his hand and hold on until you leave. This technique can be used in many different situations. [Read: 15 classy ways to make a guy go crazy over you]

4. His family wasn’t affectionate

Handholding is an intimate physical and emotional gesture. So, if you want to know how to get a guy to hold your hand, here’s how to do it.

It really is addictive to hold a guy’s hand. However, doing it is easier said than done. Some women may feel nervous to initiate it themselves or sometimes, the moment just doesn’t present itself. But if you’re motivated enough, *and with a little strategy*, you can learn how to get a guy to hold your hand at any time and place. This might sound strange to you, but a lot of people just don’t like being touched. It makes them uncomfortable. It could be for a variety of reasons that he’s like this, but touch might not feel good to him mentally, emotionally, or physically. So, keep this in mind when you are trying to get a guy to hold your hand. Some people don’t grow up in loving families. In fact, some people were raised by abusive parents. If that’s true for him, then he probably never got hugged or kissed as a child.

3. He doesn’t like touch

7. When his hand accidentally touches yours, don’t flinch and let it rest there

Remove the touch barrier by giving off several physical cues such as sitting next to the guy, or using friendly touches such as fist bumps, high fives, and playful slaps and punches on the arm. [Read: How to subtly flirt by touch without making it obvious] A lot of guys move faster than girls when it comes to physical intimacy and sex. So, he probably thinks that holding hands with you is the first meaningful physical contact that will quickly lead to more. When you hold hands for the first time, you cross that invisible line from friends to romance. So, when he holds your hand, he clearly wants more than that. He may or may not like you in a romantic way. If he doesn’t, then holding your hand might give you the wrong impression. Sure, sometimes friends hold hands. But most girls take it as a sign that the guy is romantically interested in them.

5. Make your hand available for him

Why don’t some guys like holding hands?

The pressure test determines how he will respond to a hand-holding situation. To do this, take note of where he rests his hand. Once you target that hand, place your hand near it and wait for a few moments. You might be frustrated because the guy you like *or even your boyfriend* doesn’t really like holding hands. But believe it or not, there are a lot of people who aren’t that touchy-feely, so holding hands might be a struggle for them. Here are some of the reasons that certain guys may not like holding hands. When confronted by a touchy girl, guys feel more at ease holding a girl’s hand. If the girl herself initiates touching, guys see this as a form of “permission” to hold a girl’s hand. Once a girl shows a guy that they’re on the level of hugs, tickling, and walking arm over the shoulder, then holding hands will be a piece of cake.

14. Relax

Another way is just to catch him off guard. Just grab him by the hand at an opportune moment. Walking together through a thick crowd and don’t want to get lost? Take him by the hand and help him navigate through the crowd. Maybe he is not doing it because he is trying to create more desire in you for him and his touch. It’s sort of like reverse psychology. [Read: Do guys play hard to get? 21 reasons and what you should do]

2. He doesn’t like PDA

So, he might be too embarrassed to show you his interest because he’s afraid of rejection. Or, he might just not want to lead you on if he’s not interested in you. If you’ve tried everything to try to get a guy to hold your hand but it just hasn’t worked, why not have the confidence to do it yourself? Go ahead and be bold! Grab his hand in a playful way, and see how he responds. After all, why should you wait around for him to take the lead when you can just do it yourself? And maybe whenever his parents did “touch” him, it was a hit or a slap. People can get very emotionally scarred by this in their childhood, and that could be a factor in why he doesn’t like to hold hands. [Read: How to get your boyfriend to be more affectionate and loving]

6. Initiate the “pressure test”

If the thing keeping you from holding his hand is the fear of being seen by others, do it in those moments where you are alone together. The intimacy coupled with the romantic atmosphere will do wonders to help you find the courage. No one likes to be rejected. So if he’s not trying to hold your hand, then he might just be shy and not know how to successfully do it in a way that won’t get him rejected. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to help him talk to you] Of course, a guy cannot hold your hand if you’re far. To increase the chances of him holding your hand, stay close to him. Close in on him so your hand is easily accessible. Borrow his arm when you walk together or grip his forearm just above the wrist so that you slide your hand down to his in case you feel gutsy. [Read: 15 ways to make a man chase you and fall really hard] One of the best ways you can get a guy to hold your hand is to exude self-confidence. Guys are very attracted to that – sometimes even more so than your physical looks. So, don’t act shy and submissive. Act like he’d be a fool not to want to hold your hand!

3. Act a little touchy

Holding hands is more than just about touch. It is an act of connection. And for most women, having their hands held by that special guy is the first step to a romantic relationship.

How to get a guy to hold your hand

15. Hold his arm

What holding hands means to a guy

A high five is a staple example of friendly touch. We do this with most of our friends. When you get a high five opportunity with your guy, do the usual. But let your hands linger together for the longest time you can allow. Then interact like usual. Another way to nail the lingering high five is to snatch his hand right after the high five playfully. [Read: How to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and leave him smitten] Guys really won’t mind holding a girl’s hand. Most women are afraid to initiate holding hands or say they want to hold hands for fear of being seen as bold or precocious. The first thing to remember is that guys really won’t mind if you ask them to. In fact, they will be more than happy to know that you want to initiate physical contact.

1. He’s shy

General tip

1. Let him know that you don’t mind being touched

There’s way more to holding hands than you think—and it’s usually not that innocent, either. Example A: Justin Timberlake’s set-the-Internet-on-fire handhold with Alisha Wainwright, his costar on the upcoming film Palmer. While the PDA is, to be fair, more PG than R-rated—no one’s ever going to yell at you to get a room—holding hands is still an intimate act. “It feels good to hold hands with someone we know because it’s all about wanting to be close to them,» says Toni Coleman, LCSW, a psychotherapist and relationship coach in the Washington D.C area. «We only hold hands with people we have a certain level of comfort with or attraction to.»

“Holding hands invokes a positive feeling about one another, so you both feel sexy and wanted. It’s almost like foreplay.»

Cue all the feels: Just like massage, kissing, and hugging, “research shows that touch, like holding hands, releases oxytocin, a neurotransmitter that gives you that feel-good buzz,” says Coleman. If you’re not in the hand-holding habit, you should try to do it more, as a surefire way to boost intimacy. “It invokes a positive feeling about one another, so you both feel sexy and wanted. It’s almost like foreplay,” she says.

More From Women’s Health

As a veteran hand holder, though, you might not realize that there are so many ways—Coleman counted at least seven—to do the not-so-dirty deed. And while hand holding is, in general, a special type of nonverbal communication that sends a message to not just each other, but people on the outside of your relationship, too, that you’re really into your connection, each specific type of handlock says something specific about your relationship. Advertisement — Continue Reading Below This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. So, yeah, you can say a **whole lot** without words. Peep the seven different ways you and your S.O. might be holding hands—and what each style means for your bond:

1. Handhold style: Fingers intertwined

helovi//Getty Images Advertisement — Continue Reading Below Your fingers may be intertwined, and you may also be reaching back to touch their arm, too. (I’ll call this the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.) This means you both crave a deeper connection. “Intertwined fingers say, ‘I’m into you. I want to get closer—and I can’t quite get close enough,’” says Coleman. When you’re both willing to grab each other’s hand like this, it says you’re on the same page with wanting to develop or continue a strong connection. Sweet!

2. Handhold style: Loose grip

South_agency//Getty Images Advertisement — Continue Reading Below You two may be warming up to the whole hand-holding thing. “A couple may hold with a soft grip when they don’t know each other well and are cautiously trying to start a connection,” says Coleman. “There’s a sweetness, but it’s more subtle and cautious,” she says. Pay attention to who initiates: Whoever reaches for the hand is expressing that desire for physical connection. And in some cases, your partner is signaling to others around them that, ahem, you’re “taken.”

3. Handhold style: On top and bottom

dragana991//Getty Images Advertisement — Continue Reading Below Picture this: Your partner is holding your hand with both of theirs—one of their hands is on top of yours and the other is on the bottom. They’re probably also staring into your (starry) eyes as you talk. “This is almost a type of embrace. All that skin-to-skin contact maximizes the oxytocin high,” says Coleman. This intense handhold signals that your partner is 100 percent paying attention to your every word.

4. Handhold style: Firm—but not interlaced—grip

falcatraz//Getty Images Advertisement — Continue Reading Below This all depends on where you are in your relationship. “Usually when you see this, it’s one person holding onto the other more tightly,” says Coleman. The hand-holder may be tightening their grip in a protective way to offer comfort or reassurance if the other is anxious, she says. Another possibility: A tight hold may not signal affection—it can also be something someone uses to assert their dominance. Context matters here. Advertisement — Continue Reading Below

5. Handhold style: Arm draped combo

Caiaimage/Paul Bradbury//Getty Images You’re both sitting side by side. Their arm is draped around yours, and you’re holding their hand. Get a room, maybe? “This says, ‘I’m so into you, I want to be as close as possible, and I want the world to know how we feel about each other, too,” says Coleman. Gripping each other in this type of loving way is also showing a sign of support for the other person. Say it with me: aw. Advertisement — Continue Reading Below

6. Handhold style: One hand gently resting on top

Thanrath Pinigpreecha / EyeEm//Getty Images Eek. Are you having the “should we breakup?” talk? When you put your hand on top of someone else’s and let it rest for a minute while you speak, it may mean that you’re delivering bad news, says Coleman. Advertisement — Continue Reading Below “In certain situations, you may be touching the other person briefly on the hand to get them to look at you when they’re upset,” she says. That’s not to say this type of holding hands means you’re doomed, but you may want to pay attention to other body language cues to better feel out your status. Advertisement — Continue Reading Below

7. Handhold style: Over-the-shoulder walk

Westend61//Getty Images Not to be confused with the over-the-shoulder sit, when you do this while walking, it’s basically a PDA cuddle. “It says, ‘We are one. Even though we’re walking down the street, we’re staying as connected as we can,” says Coleman. Hold on, baby! Jessica Migala is a health writer specializing in general wellness, fitness, nutrition, and skincare, with work published in Women’s Health, Glamour, Health, Men’s Health, and more. She is based in the Chicago suburbs and is a mom to two little boys and rambunctious rescue pup.

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