1. DO: Make sure he knows you like him.
Sometimes guys are completely clueless. However, when they know someone likes them, whether it is reciprocated right away or not, they are guaranteed to notice you more. You don’t have to bend over backwards, or call him incessantly to let him know, subtlety is key here. A smile, catching his eye once in a while, “accidentally” bumping into him at the coffee shop, brushing an invisible piece of lint off of his shoulder, all of these subtle non verbal cues send him the message that you are alive and well and eager to be noticed.
2. DO: Flirt.
Flirting is the number one best way to let him know you like him without having to say a word. Even if the guy who you are interested in is completely unavailable, a well-placed flirt will still get his attention. Men LOVE women that take a little bit of initiative, which helps take the pressure off them. If he’s not in your life already, a little flirting will go a long way to let him know you’re interested. “Who did you inherit that gorgeous smile from?” is a great icebreaker because he will have no choice but to…smile before he responds. And if he IS in your life already, that means it’s even more important to flirt. You don’t want one of those dreaded “we’re like brother and sister” relationships do you? Flirt, flirt, FLIRT.
3. DON’T: Try to be someone you are not.
How many times have you been out and seen the girl who has suddenly taken an extreme interest in playing darts, even though outside she wouldn’t even know what a dart was if it hit her in the face? The word pathetic comes to mind, right? Don’t be something you are not because you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. Yes he will notice you, but he will also keep on walking. Men are very perceptive when it comes to “fake” and “try-hard”.
4. DO: Ask him for help.
This is one of women’s age-old “tricks” because it simply works. Asking a man to do something manly like open a jar for you accomplishes two goals, making him feel like a man, and helps him notice you are sharing the same oxygen-rich planet. As primal and old fashioned as it is, men still adore the feeling they get when they come to women’s rescue. After he helps you, don’t forget to flirt.
5. DO: Look him in the eye.
It’s a non-verbal cue that says a little, but goes a long way. You know from experience that anyone, man or woman, that looks you in the eye when you are talking gets a more trust instantly. Well, guess what happens when you do it to him? He notices you more. Look him in the eye yes, stare longingly at someone that hasn’t asked you out yet, no. “Thank you!” meet his eyes, and then carry on. Anything longer than a second is just plain creepy.
6. DO: Be mysterious.
Let him know you want him (using any combination of the above signals), but leave him wanting more. Don’t put it all out there on the first date, or even in the first conversation. If you keep him guessing, wondering about you will start to occupy his thoughts when you’re not around. One of the biggest cues guys report when they’re falling for someone is the notion that they can’t stop thinking about the woman. Mystery goes a long way. Mystery is very important for women who are already in long relationships with their guys. How many times have you rattled off the events of your day to him like it’s some kind of laundry list? Leaving things out isn’t dishonest, unless you’re doing something scummy (you aren’t, are you? I didn’t think so). Make him wonder what you’re doing sometimes and where you are. Inject some space into your relationship. He’ll wonder what you’re up to = thus filling his emotional space.
7. DO: Occasionally dress sexy, but don’t overdo it.
Men love it when women occasionally wear low cut blouses and skirts up to there, but they also like classy women who aren’t exposing themselves all the time. The vast majority of the time, strive to look safe to take home to mom. He loves it when you bare a little skin on occasion, but there is a fine line between sexy elegance and sleazy. Walk the line, but don’t cross it. Guys will undress you with their eyes anyway, so sometimes being covered up is even more intriguing to them than the opposite.
8. DON’T be too unavailable.
There is a misconception in today’s dating society that if you don’t answer the phone when he calls, it sends the message that you “have a life” and “don’t need him. Too much of this tactic and others like it screams high maintenance to men and they will very quickly keep walking. They want someone that is available for them but not TOO available. Confused? Basically, men are actually are nervous about asking women out, and the possibilities of that happening are directly proportional to their confidence in her yes. i.e. If she’s playing too hard to get, he’s less likely to ask her out because he’ll assume she’s going to reject him out of hand. When you’re responding to him, keep the ball in the air, but don’t be predictable about it.
How to Get a Guy to Notice You – The Bottom Line
For those wondering how to get a guy to notice you more, the answer is to start taking the ball into your court, but very slowly. Women often fall into the trap of thinking that men need to do all of the chasing, and if he’s not chasing her with a sign that says “I like, maybe love you, FOREVER!” then he’s not interested. It’s up to you to let him know that an approach by him is going to result in positive reinforcement from you. This is why more subtle methods like flirting and a injecting a little mystery are winners. Whether you are single or have been married for 20 years and feel invisible to him, these tactics will work. If you want him to notice you more, FIRST ask yourself the question, what have you done to show him that YOU notice him? When you can master the art of sending subtle signals without going overboard, you can rest assured your efforts will not be in vain. Guys like, well actually, LOVE, when a woman NOTICES them! They enjoy feeling special, different, unique, and attractive in your eyes. You can use this great information to your advantage. You CAN approach any guy at work with much more success than just «hoping» something might happen between the two of you while you wait for him to start a conversation. Today’s post is about how it’s done and all you have to do for success is to follow my steps listed below. BUT first — Approaching a guy anywhere requires positive energy and a reliable pattern to fall on, so you feel confident and more secure. Keep that in mind because once you have all that you’ll be less likely to «think» yourself out of doing it. Secondly — As a woman, you’re (supposed) to be the better-looking half, right? Your style, your clothes, your hair, your face, you have an endless ability to get noticed. With us guys — it’s not that easy. I won’t get into why, just agree with me and it will keep things a lot easier on both of us, okay? We can talk more about it on my newsletter or you can get a glimpse of it by reading this article I wrote: Why So Many Men Are Starting To Feel More Ugly Today – Inside & Out! The point is, guys WANT to be NOTICED so let’s make sure you use that to your full advantage. Here are the steps — the details are below:
- Eye contact has to happen first. Tease him into wanting to know more about you.
- Noticing something about him others don’t or won’t say will make you stand out and get NOTICED yourself.
- Knowing what questions to ask him and a little on how to respond to his answers which reveal not just information, but if he’s into you or not.
- Using the same push-pull method so many type one men have perfected on women.
- Most importantly —> Being a positive FUN person to be around.
#1. It ALWAYS starts with eye contact.
Hold it for a few seconds then slowly turn your eyes someplace else. You might want to avoid looking down after because this can put pressure on him to approach you AND tends to confuse type two men more often than not. Wait a little while and then make a second eye contact just to see if he notices you. If he holds his contact — he WANTS you to approach him. That’s his way of sticking out his chest or appearing confident. It’s his way of letting you know it’s okay to start a conversation with him. There — that was easy, right?
#2. You’ll want to get close enough and mention something you noticed on him.
Do it very casually and keep moving. Do NOT linger around and do NOT expect a response. Just say it because you’re a positive person who likes people to feel good around you AND it’s something which caught your eye. Wait a while before you repeat the process EXCEPT with one catch — Skip the eye contact the second time. Once you’ve done that — you NEVER really have to do it again, and I wouldn’t suggest it because then it turns into a staring contest that will only both of you. In other words, something is far less likely to happen.
#3. The next step is about knowing what questions to ask.
Here’s a little tip if you struggle with this. Men, believe it or not can get a little nervous around women they find attractive. Their mind sometimes (more often than not) can go totally blank. This means some guys won’t have a clue of what to say and with «other» men, what you’re getting the second time around — is not necessarily the real man too — making it all way too complicated. What you’re getting is normally a filtered response based on who he is and how you make him feel. This second interaction is all about making HIM feel at ease. If you have to, do more talking than him and don’t expect him to open immediately. Give him time. Be patient. Men expect the women to talk more and although it may seem like he’s not paying much attention — it’s really because he ‘s probably trying not to screw it up with you, or he’s engrossed in his mind thinking about what he’s going to say back to you. WARNINGS: Before we move on: Here are some important areas about work environments you need to keep in mind before you start. Work situations are different from other approaches. There can be a lot of undue drama along the way. There’s a lot more going on socially which could affect your paycheck so you must be willing to risk a little more than you would normally risk talking to some guy elsewhere, AND you must be prepared to face a completely different workplace after the social dynamics do change. Remember this also goes for him. Just having a conversation is one thing but taking it outside of work is something much different. There is always more risk involved. My advice… Be a little daring in your approach and take full notice to his response.
- Does he play into it?
- Does he back away?
- Does he look worried?
- Does he stammer or non-confidently go about his interaction with you?
This will clue you in on what kind or type of man you’re dealing with and how much of a risk taker he really is. Your personal situation or what you do for a living will give you a good starting place. Here are some examples: Offices can be private but others will see you’re talking. They may even hear what you’re talking about. Keep your voice a little quiet because you don’t want him to feel that all his answers will be heard by everyone. Men are less likely to be themselves if there’s pressure to perform especially around a woman they’re feeling attracted to who just happened to approach him. Retail environments are more open. You can be in places no one see or hears anything. You generally work closely and you can get away with a lot more. You CAN talk more openly but be wary of the customers. They can either help or hurt your chances. I say use them to your advantage. Help his customers too. Get involved in the process. You have the opportunity for a dynamic conversation with a third person involved (making it less stressful) AND the third «wheel» (the customer) will disappear all by themselves, which is perfect for you and him to progress more. Manual factories or hard labor areas are more difficult for the approach so you should wait for a lunch break but you can still make the necessary eye contact first. Keep in mind though lunches may be very public and stressful on him — so if you approach him saying, «I’m going to eat lunch with you today.» remember… OTHER people will realize what’s going on but you have to shut others out of the process. On the side of «others» noticing — guys tend to gain a little more confidence when other people notice a girl is «sort of» hitting on them. It’s an Ego boost, so that can be bad for you if that’s all the interest he has in you, or… GREAT for him, My advice is always: Don’t ask. Tell him nicely and THEN ASK. It goes like this. «I’m going to eat with you today. How would you like some company?» This says to a guy, «I like what I see. I noticed you before. But hey I still have manners. I like to be a little feminine. You’re the man. Haha! How would you like to share your lunch time with me.» Lastly — let’s talk very quickly on the push-pull thing I mentioned. It’s what (we) teach guys to amplify your attraction to us. It also works extremely well, probably better, on men because their focus tends to be more narrowed. Meaning — once you get stuck in his head it becomes very difficult for him to think about anything else. Which I’m sure you’ve noticed can be a bad thing or a good thing. For attraction purposes I can not get into all the detail just yet.
#4. This about using the «push-pull «method to send flirty fun but mixed signals AND it’s about short interactions over a longer period.
For example — say this, «I really love your tie» (coy cute smile) «You wouldn’t happen to know my old high-school math teacher… would you?» It’s a light jab at something which may not be overly important to him. First, you’re noticing it then you’re seeing how playful and secure he is about the way he dresses. You’re pulling him in for the compliment and then pushing him away to play. Wait for his response. Try to avoid lingering around. Walk away and come back to «play» later. Except next time don’t do it again… Do something different. Say, «Hey… truth or dare?» Wait for his answer and then say, «Hmmm…. interesting.» Walk away again. No matter how you do it, the idea or concept is simple. KEY TIP: Many short fun flirty interactions have more impact than long deep talks to guys initially or when you first meet. Men prefer complete privacy or an intimate location to open up. They also want to be noticed. They WANT to be approached by the girl who makes eye contact. They WANT to be left wondering just a little and they need to be «at ease» around you — to fully function devoid of fear. They also have a desire to chase just a little, so if you stick around too long, you’re not leaving him much opportunity to do the chasing thing. You do all that and keep all the details I’ve mentioned close to your heart and approaching any guy at work (or anywhere in fact) will become totally natural. You’ll challenge ANY guy which is a MUST for attracting the men you DO want.
Remember to stay positive… always.
Have confidence in what I’ve shown you and you’ll notice how everything I’ve gone over today can give you amazing results. I understand you might feel shy or uninhibited and you have lots of fears — well men do too and lots of their fears are centered around you. Never forget that. What you’re trying to accomplish here IS a risk but the rewards may make it worth it — IF you’re confident, don’t put so much emphasis on the outcome, and ENJOY THE PROCESS of opening up that guy at work for something more. I’ve pulled together a few guest posts from some amazing and smart women which can help you better interact with men to form the always important INTEREST. This part, approaching a guy at work is more about getting and keeping his interest because if you work with him, he will already either be physically attracted to you or not. Focus on what matters… Getting his real ATTENTION and gaining his INTEREST beyond the physical part. This is what was revealed about men today…
- They like or love to be noticed by a woman they’re attracted to.
- They want to feel special in your eyes.
- When a guy makes eye contact and holds it — it’s his way of sticking out his chest or trying to look confident for you.
- Some guys get nervous around women they find attractive so expect it to happen.
- They expect the women to talk more.
- They rarely will open up in a conversation if what is being said is heard by others. They prefer or need private one on one interactions to feel comfortable and safer to flirt.
- They won’t all date a co-worker or a boss because of the risks involved.
- They love to be challenged by a woman.
- They enjoy it when a woman flirts with them the right way, especially IF they’re physically attracted to her.
- They are susceptible to the push-pull method and get more interested in a woman who uses short fun interactions.
- Once you’re in their head, it takes a lot to get you out of it.
- Get his attention, build his interest, and he’ll more than likely agree to a date or ask you out himself.
That’s all for today. I’d LOVE to hear from you if you’ve tried my steps and they worked for you, or not. We can work on the not part and figure out what went wrong and fix it together. Today’s post has been MAINLY about type two guys and it’s something you must know first so make sure you sign in below and learn everything you can about both types. If there’s a type one guy at work, technically, all you have to do is get NOTICED and if he’s available, ready, willing to date a co-worker — just tease him a little — create a challenge, and if he’s attracted to you… he WILL DO something about it.
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