Can a single thought turn into reality? The hype surrounding manifestation has been building for over two decades. It’s unlikely to be a coincidence. Of course, visualizing your ideal life and willing it into reality sounds too good to be true. All skepticism aside, though, there are countless individuals who claim that this method has worked for them. If you’re open-minded and wondering how to manifest love, it’s time to take a deep dive into its theory. We spoke to manifestation coach Maria Concha, therapist Julia Bartz, LCSW, and manifesting expert Roxie Nafousi to get the lowdown. Meet the Expert
- Maria Concha is a manifestation coach, speaker, and founder of Manifesting Ninja.
- Julia Bartz, LCSW, is a clinical social worker, therapist, and author of the My Pleasure: The New Psychology of Sex, Dating, and Self-Care blog.
- Roxie Nafousi is a self-development coach, manifesting expert, and host of The Moments That Made Me podcast. She is the author of Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life.
What Is Manifestation?
So, what on earth is manifestation? Chances are, you’ve heard of this practice from books like Rhonda Byrne’s 2006 bestseller The Secret or in the niche corners of internet land (hello, TikTok!). Regardless of how you’ve stumbled upon the topic, the central idea is likely to be the same. “Manifestation is intentionally creating your reality through your beliefs and actions,” explains Concha. As she puts it, we’re continuously manifesting whether we like it or not. So, you might as well take control of that power and make some positive changes. “Being conscious and deliberate about our beliefs is key,” she continues. “To simplify it, think about it like this: I want you to see yourself as a magnet attracting what you are thinking and feeling, which leads to the action you take. What you see in your reality now are the seeds (thoughts and emotions) you planted at a certain point in your life and if you pay close attention, you will see the correlation between your thoughts and what you have in your reality.” Concha adds, “Your emotions are your guidance system. Paying attention to the way you are feeling when you are thinking about something or someone is an indication if you are in the process of attracting something you want. Essentially, you get what you think about whether you want it or not. The cool part is that you always have the option to choose better thoughts; ones that serve you. So manifesting isn’t exactly the magic, quick-fix it’s marketed as. In fact, it isn’t without its fair share of work. «What people often don’t realize is that manifestation takes a lot of ‘behind the scenes’ work, from uncovering potential barriers and challenges, to figuring out exactly what you do want, to taking action steps in order to reach your goal,» explains Bartz. «Our beliefs about the world often dictate our actions below our level of awareness. For example, if you say that you’re looking for a partner but, deep down, you don’t believe you’ll be able to find one, then you will act in ways that subtly support your belief, and you will likely have a difficult time in this goal.»
How to Manifest Love
Now, let’s get to the good stuff. If you want to try manifesting love for yourself, Concha says there are five relatively straightforward steps you can follow. Here’s what you need to know. Whether you’re looking for a new love interest or want to strengthen your current relationship, the manifestation method is the same.
Step 1: Decide What You Want
First things first, figure out what your ideal relationship looks like. Take the time to really consider what you’re currently looking for in a partner. “Decide on the kind of relationship you wish to be in (this is you planting the seed) without thinking about the how,” explains Concha. “Remember that your job is to stay in a vibrational match to what you wish to see, not to figure out how exactly this intro will go down, leave that up to the universe.”
Step 2: Visualize It
«Dream it up in your mind and allow yourself to get excited about it! This is you matching the vibration of what you wish to attract into your life,” says Concha. You might have already dwindled hours away picturing your dream partner but now it’s time to get serious. How do you envision your relationship? What qualities do you hope they have?
Step 3: Embody It
«Embody the person that already has this love in their life,” says Concha. “Act and behave as if your dream person has already manifested. Embody the version of you that has this relationship. How would you be showing up? Most likely not obsessing over an outcome, taking self-care time, doing things that make you feel good regardless of a partner being in your life or not.” «The most important thing is believing you are worthy of true love,» adds Nafousi. «We manifest what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of—and a lot of us hold a lot of limiting beliefs around love and relationships. We may have had traumatic experiences in relationships, or we might have insecurities that have built up throughout our lives and that is our biggest block—it’s also what causes us to settle for less than we deserve in relationships.»
Step 4: Align Your Actions
When you’ve done all of the above, you might find that your ideal person «presents» themself. Don’t ignore that sign. Do something about it. «Taking aligned action is about pursuing and saying ‘yes’ to potential partners that have the qualities that you desire to have in your life and ‘no’ to the ones that don’t,” says Concha. “Don’t entertain or pursue someone who doesn’t match what you truly want. That’s you telling the universe that this is the kind of person you want and so you will keep attracting more of those types of people whether you want it or not.”
Step 5: Surrender
The final step is perhaps the hardest. The love that you attract might not look how you imagined so Concha says to prepare yourself for some surprises along the way. “Surrendering is simply you allowing love into your life without attachment to one specific outcome or person. It doesn’t serve you to be this rigid, linear thinker,” explains Concha. “In fact, when you’re open to creative possibilities for love, the universe may surprise you and you’ll meet someone totally unexpected. Ten years later you’ll look back and understand why it didn’t work out with all the other ones.” Well, it’s worth a shot, right?
How Long Does It Take to Manifest Love?
There’s no time limit on love. «It can be incredibly fast or take time for you to believe you are worthy of it,» says Nafousi. «Healing does not happen overnight!» Concha notes that this is the most exciting part of the process: «It can happen at any given point after you decide that you are inviting love into your life and aligning your thoughts and actions with it.»
Signs Your Love Manifestation Is Coming True
Okay, so we may not be able to pinpoint exactly when those true love manifestations will come to fruition but there are a few ways to know you’re on the right track. «If you find yourself meeting and dating people who seem like they might be a good fit for you, even if they don’t turn into a relationship, then you know that you’re on the right path,» says Bartz. Concha suggests checking in with your internal compass. «It depends on what you are desiring to feel with this love that you have called in. For example, if your idea of love is to feel supported, loved and cared for, some signs that it’s coming is that you start to feel this way before this person arrives,» she explains. These feelings don’t need to come from a romantic source. A friend could make a thoughtful gesture that makes you feel loved. Or, you may take some time for yourself and feel cared for. «All of this aligns with the vibration of the love that you are manifesting, and you can only attract from the energy in which you are already in.» If you’re feeling frustrated or like the universe has been testing you, don’t worry. Nafousi says this could be a good sign. «Interestingly, I always say that you know your person is on the way when exes start appearing in your life. Exes are often a ‘test from the universe’ which you have to overcome,» she says. «Exes appear to test your self-worth: Do you fall back into an old pattern, or do you recognize your worth and see how much more you deserve now?»
Can You Really Manifest Love?
Apart from a million dollars and perhaps a private yacht, the number one thing people want to manifest is no secret: true love. But whether you can attract a special someone into your life using manifestation is most certainly open to debate. While many may dismiss the idea as new-age nonsense, Concha says it worked for her and can for you, too. “You can absolutely manifest love! I did and 10 years later here we are,” says Concha. “And you can also manifest to strengthen the love you already have if you’re currently in a relationship. The longer you focus upon something or someone, the more powerful it becomes and the stronger your attraction.” Bartz agrees that manifesting love is possible, but discernment is key. «If you’re having a difficult time finding a partner, or you feel that you attract the wrong partners, you may be up against unconscious barriers–meaning ways that you are unknowingly blocking yourself from your goal,» she explains. «You may need to understand and heal attachment trauma stemming from your childhood.» This can show up as attracting partners with incompatible attachment styles, unconsciously searching out partners to fix relational patterns, self-sabotaging healthy relationships out of fear, or having unrealistic expectations of perfection vs. compatibility. «When you have this information about yourself, that’s when you can begin to make conscious dating decisions and search out partners who are looking for the same type of relationship you are. At this stage, you can do more typical manifestation practices, such as putting out a spiritual call for a healthy partner, or meditating on how it will feel to meet and spend time with your partner,» she adds. If you’re hoping to cast a magic spell on your office crush or that attractive stranger on the train, you might want to think twice. While Concha says you can use manifestation to bring a specific person into your life, you cannot make them fall truly, madly, deeply in love with you. “The law of attraction finds others who are offering a similar vibration and brings them into your experience. You can target a specific person which may look like them coming into your life somehow, however, you cannot manifest someone to love you back. You can only manifest for yourself.” Sometimes, does it feel like everyone else has already figured out how to make relationships work and that you’re the only one who can’t find the right one? It can be exhausting to deal with repeated breakups and bad dates and trying to manifest love. Plus, the constant battle of loneliness and dreaming of a better life… Don’t you agree? It’s normal to sometimes just want to give up. Maybe you have resigned yourself to the single life, even though you know deep down that you still yearn to find love. However, the good news is that no matter how bleak your experiences have been, it is possible to manifest love! Sometimes even with a specific person. Let’s take a closer look at how the Law of Attraction can help you better understand your struggles and manifest love that lasts.
Why Can’t I Find Love?
If you’re going to manifest your soulmate, it’s vital to first understand why it is that your attempts to find love so often go awry. Everyone’s story of looking for love is slightly different. However, there are often common factors in play that can block you from creating the romance you deserve to have. For example, you may find the following are true of you:
- You’ve unconsciously shut down. After being hurt and disappointed, a part of you may be trying to protect your heart from future pain. Unfortunately, this also shuts you off from the potential to find love as well.
- You have unfinished business. It’s hard to attract love if you still have one foot in the past. Perhaps you’ve never quite processed a particularly rough relationship. Or maybe there’s an old partner you find it hard to let go of.
- You’ve lost faith. When you’ve been looking for love for a long time, you may stop believing that there’s such a thing as a soul mate. You may be tempted to settle for an “okay” relationship rather than committing to a mission to find love.
However, there are techniques that can teach you how to manifest love in general, or with a specific person.
4 Steps To Start Looking For Love With Real Intention
If you’re looking to learn how to manifest love fast, the key message you need to internalize is that you have to start looking for love with real intention. What this means is that you must learn how to align yourself with a vibrational frequency that can attract love rather than further disappointment, and that you need to develop a vivid, clear sense of what you’re actually trying to do when you aim to manifest love. Many of us never refine our concept of what looking for love means. The Universe can’t help us find love if we don’t really know what we actually want. Here are four ways to start looking for love with real intention today.
Make The Decision You Want To Find Love And Design Your Life Partner
Step 1: Essentially, you need to make the decision that you really want to attract this life partner. Then, truly commit to the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person. Making this commitment may involve processing old wounds (e.g. via journaling or therapy). Hopefully, the past can be left behind and you can opt to embrace hope instead of fear. Once you’ve made your decision, a big part of understanding how to manifest love with a specific person lies in getting a clear sense of what it is about this person that makes you believe that looking for love with them will truly make you happy. As such, part of making a manifestation commitment involves beginning to analyze yourself in a new, deeper way.
Ask yourself the following about your needs and desires in your quest to find love:
- What 5-10 words would you use to describe what you really want in a partner?
- What personality traits in another person not only attract love from you but also help to bring out the very best in you?
- How do you want to be treated by a partner? When looking for love, what are the behaviors that you will simply never tolerate?
- What are your deepest, most heartfelt passions in life?
- What do you consider to be your life’s mission? Plus, what sort of partner can be a teammate on the road to achieving this goal?
When you understand the answers to these types of questions about manifesting your soulmate, your mind and heart begin to focus on trying to find love that is based on true mutual understanding and excitement. You can do all kinds of creative techniques to bolster the design of your life partner. For example, Law of Attraction experts recommends daily visualization exercises in which you conjure up a vivid sense of what your life partner would be like. Meanwhile, you can also create a dream board that represents all the traits you’re looking for and your image of how this relationship will improve your life. However, an important cautionary note is that you absolutely must set realistic expectations. It’s not possible to manifest love with a “perfect” person because there is no such thing as a perfect person. You have to be willing to find love with someone who is perfect for you but who has some flaws and difficulties nonetheless.
Learn How to Connect With Yourself
Step 2: There’s an old cliché that claims you can’t love others unless you love yourself. However, there is truth in this saying. It can have a major impact on whether you’re able to successfully manifest love. Specifically, you attract love with people who are aligned with your vibrational state. So if you are down on yourself or lack confidence, you often find love only with people who treat you poorly and fail to recognize your worth. Therefore, looking for love with real intention requires you to form a deeper, more profound, and accepting connection with yourself. Whether or not you feel it right now, everyone contains the essence of love. This is an infinite resource that you can draw on at all times… Not just when you’re looking for love. Here are some tips that will help you develop this self-love, enabling you to manifest love with your soul mate:
Become The Person You Want To Attract
Take another look at the life partner you designed according to all the key qualities you value. Next, try to think of how you can cultivate those precise traits in yourself. For example, if ambition is on your list, ask yourself how you can work harder to achieve your goals (in work, and in life more broadly).
Make Time For Self-Care
Learning how to connect with yourself has a lot to do with tuning into your own need. Consequently, then meeting those needs. When you make a habit of this, you’re much more able to attract love with someone who will nurture you. One way to ensure you take better care of yourself while you’re looking for love is to set aside an hour a day where you commit to pursuing a hobby you love! This should be no matter what other, more “productive” things you could be doing.
Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs
As with all Law of Attraction work, trying to manifest love requires you to look at the underlying assumption that holds you back. In this case, limiting beliefs that might block you from finding love. Try to write them down first. Then identify where they came from. Most importantly, write down a contradictory belief that you can then turn into a daily affirmation. Here is an article to get you started with three tips for creating powerful affirmations.
Let The Universe Know You Are Ready
Step 3: It’s time to let the universe know you’re truly ready to manifest your soulmate. Simply coming into a more positive vibrational alignment can certainly help you find love. However, there’s also a specific process you can follow to help you attract love more quickly. These steps will open you up to a soul-deep connection with the specific person you want to find love with:
- Set a clear intention. First, write something down until you get the words right. Then when you’re happy, say them out loud as you look at yourself in the mirror. Some examples include “I am ready to manifest love and I open my heart to my one true soulmate” and “My mind is clear, my heart is open, and I am ready to welcome my soulmate in.”
- Affirm your belief in your soulmate. While you’ve already worked hard to combat limiting beliefs and create a clear image of the person you want to be with, you make it easier for the Universe to send that person your way if you constantly stay connected to your belief that they exist. Try daily affirmations (written or spoken) like “I am looking for love, and my soulmate is on their way to me”. Plus, “Nothing will stop me from receiving the love of my soulmate.”
- Multi-sensory visualization. Take your creative visualization further and begin to spend longer daily sessions imagining every aspect of being with your soulmate. The stronger this mental image, the stronger the pull you will exert on them. Think not only about how they will look but also how they will sound, smell and feel. You might also try picturing significant moments in your life. For example, visualize events like sharing a bed for the first time, getting married, or having children.
Trust and Understand the Process
Step 4: As you work to manifest your soulmate, the final stage of your journey to attract love involves cultivating patience. Embrace this sense of peace as you accept that the Universe can – and will – give you what you need. Although you’ve been focusing on how to manifest love with a specific person, looking for love through Law of Attraction techniques rests on your ability to trust that the Universe knows exactly what kind of partner can help you manifest love that lasts. Don’t fret about when you’re going to find your soulmate. But rather, rest easy in the knowledge that you will find them at the perfect time.
In Summary…You might not find love quite where and when you expected it. So you must keep an open mind and be alert to signs from the universe. These might come in the form of coincidences, repeated imagery, or chance meetings. Believe that your intuition can tell whether such potential signs are significant. Living “as if” can be a powerful way to help yourself, manifest love. What this means is that you should try to live every day not as though you’re looking for love but as though you’ve already found it! Embrace self-love and dress as you would if you were spending time with your partner. Try to make space for them in your home. See yourself as a person with a loving soulmate and a bright future, and make plans accordingly. Remember that now you know exactly what you want, you will be certain when you find love. When you manifest love with a soulmate, there is no ambiguity. You will just know you have found the right one. Finally, start every day by tuning into your heart. Visualize being with the one you love, and let a warm, golden glow fill your chest. This is the energy that will propel you through the day on exactly the right frequency to attract love. Take that feeling wherever you go. Be aware that your soulmate is always with you, even when you have yet to meet them.
Are you looking to manifest a specific person to fall in love with you? Or maybe you want to attract your ex back? If so, then this post is for you. Today I’m going to answer the big question: can you manifest a specific person, and if so, how do you go about it?
How to manifest a soulmate is the number one topic on my manifestation blog. And it’s definitely something I love to write about (I did not only manifest my husband, including my dream wedding, but I also helped many of the women in our community to find true love with the help of the law of attraction.) And there is not much that is more fulfilling than a great love success story. So yes, manifestation works for love, no doubt. But the big question remains if it also works to get that special person to fall in love with you… First, the short answer: You can manifest a relationship with a specific person. What is not possible is to manifest someone else to fall in love with you if you are not on the same vibrational alignment. It means you can’t manifest against someone’s will. But if this other person is aligned with you (which means the right match for you), then it’s absolutely possible that you can use the power of the universal laws and attract your special one. And I’m going to show you how…
Manifesting a Specific Person The Right Way
So you see, getting that special someone to fall in love with you is not as straightforward as manifesting anything else to create your dream life. The main reason for this is: that it affects not just you. You can’t just manifest a specific person because that’s what YOU desire. Only like attracts like. That’s what the universal law of attraction stands for. And if you now think: but I’m sure I’m the right one for my desired partner, I get you. I know very well what it’s like to be unhappily in love. The last thing you want to hear in this situation is that you can’t make someone fall in love with you, even if this is your deepest desire. But I don’t want to give you false hopes; my number one reason why I started this blog is that I wanted to make a change in this niche- there is too much BS manifesting advice out there (that only goes after you click…) I really don’t like when a manifestation coach tells you that everything is possible just to keep your hopes up. Sure, with the Law of Attraction, you can basically manifest anything you want, but only as long as no other person gets harmed or you would have to influence their free will. But don’t worry; after reading this post, you will understand why it’s a good thing that you can’t manifest anything. Because sometimes, we need a bit of time to reflect and to come to a conclusion that everything makes sense the way it is. Let’s just say this is the universe’s way of protecting us from doing the wrong things… So to answer the question of how to manifest a specific person, the right way is to do it with ethical intent. Here’s the thing: Manifestation means that you can change and create your own reality. And while you can also manifest for someone else, you can only do so in their best interest, and it’s quite frankly not our decision what is best for them. So if you want to manifest love with a specific person, it’s not just about the question of “what you want” – but also about “what they want.” That’s when you are an energetic match. And that’s the only way for successful manifestation.
Manifest Your Own Reality VS. The Reality Of Your Dream Partner
So let me ask you an important question before I give you some tips on how to actually attract this person: do you REALLY want to have a relationship with this person? Because if this person is not a vibrational alignment to you, you may end up attracting someone who doesn’t truly love you. Or you are manifesting an ex back that is no longer in love with you. Especially when you want to manifest someone back into your life, you need to first reflect on why this relationship ended. There was most probably a good reason that you were not together anymore. And that’s something to keep in mind. It’s not said that getting back together with your ex is always a bad idea. I even know a couple that got divorced, then got back together after ten years, and they couldn’t be happier. But I would reflect on such a break-up and not try to force something out of a current feeling. However, if the romantic partner of your choice is the perfect match for you and it’s also his/her desire to be with you, then, of course, go on and manifest that special someone. Or start by asking him/her out for a first date.
Top Manifestation Techniques to Manifest Your Crush to Like You Back
So how do you manifest your crush to love you back without having to force things? Well, to manifest a specific person follows the same principles as how to manifest love from someone you don’t know yet. So I would definitely suggest you read this post next. But here are five specific steps you can take to manifest your desired partner:
Ps. If you are here because you are already in a relationship and want to manifest this person to fall back in love with you (or just have a better relationship in general), then these steps still apply, but you can skip step one.
Step One: Make Sure This Other Person is Single and Available
In case this person is taken, please be very careful with your actions. I won’t tell you not to invest your energy into the desire to manifest this specific person, but I also don’t think that the universe will have your back if you try to force yourself into a well-functioning relationship. If you have read my story on how I manifested my husband Tom, then you know that we were both still in a relationship when we met for the first time. However, both of us were unhappy in the relationship. I also didn’t focus on him as a specific person, but on the kind of partner and ideal relationship, I wanted. Turns out that he was just my perfect match. I do believe true love will find each other, but keep that point in mind I mentioned at the beginning of this post. We want to do this in an ethical way. I think reflecting on his/her situation will also give you more clarity about what you really want.
Step Two: Become Crystal Clear on The Relationship You Want to Experience
So when you manifest that special someone, you have ONE big advantage. You know exactly what you want. And this person already exists in your life. And while I would suggest reflecting on the question of “what you want” first, when manifesting love, you can really skip that one. What you could do instead is to reflect on the type of relationship you want to manifest. Here are a few questions that can help you with this:
- How do I want this special person to make me feel?
- What will my ideal day together with this person look like?
- What do I want to get out of this perfect relationship?
- What can I bring into the relationship that makes this other person fulfilled?
Expert Manifestation Tip: There are many manifestation methods you can use to do this reflection exercise, but the scripting manifestation technique is perfect for this. It’s when you script out the future you want to attract, in the present tense and the form of a story and as if this new reality had already happened. You could script about your first date or how the other person tells you that he/she loves you for the first time. Scripting is a powerful way to give your subconscious the right signals.
Step Three: Work on YOURSELF
Manifestation always starts within you. You have to clear your own limiting beliefs around love; you have to become open to welcoming your ideal person into your life. It’s about programming your subconscious mind in a way that it’s opening up to giving and receiving love. You have eliminated blocks that may prevent you from having a good relationship.
Before you start manifesting someone else to love you, start by loving yourself. When you are love, you attract love. Mia Fox
The law of attraction is not a magic trick or love spell you can use to make a specific person fall in love with you. If you want to manifest love, you start with yourself. Self-love is an important point and will send the right vibrations to the universe (your subconscious mind.) Especially when you want to manifest an ex back into your life, it’s very important to give this step a lot of attention. Reflect on why your past relationship ended and what you can do t make it better when you get together. Quick Tip: Self-care is a great way to show your subconscious that you love yourself. Show the universe that you deserve love by loving yourself.
Step Four: Get Emotionally Aligned With the Person You Desire
As I said, vibrational alignment is important, and when you want to manifest a specific person, this is just not a one-sided thing. It always takes two for a relationship to work. But you can do your part. Think about what would make the perfect match for this other person. It’s not about changing yourself to be loved. It’s about getting the vibration that would make a good relationship between you and this particular person. There are many great abundance-attracting methods in the law of attraction toolbox you can choose from, for example, positive affirmations. Or you can try my guided meditations (click here, and I’ll send you one for free to test out.) But the best tip I can give you is to accept (and enjoy) your current circumstances no matter what your love life looks like right now. And you do that by practicing gratitude (one of my favorite tools when manifesting). Be grateful for the simple fact that you know this special person. Think about how it would be if you wanted to attract love, but you just can’t find someone you actually like. You are in love. Embrace that love. And more love will follow!
Final Step: Take Inspired Action
Without action, nothing in your life will manifest. That’s just how it is. Taking inspired action is the most important manifestation step. And it’s no different when you attract your ideal partner. Instead of sitting around, hoping that the person you desires falls in love with you or that your crush asks you out for a date, how about you take that first step? Your subconscious (and that’s where the manifestation magic really happens) works a bit like an avalanche:
- You need to give all the details about your manifestation goal (we did that in step two.)
- You need to take care that there are no roadblocks standing in the way (steps three and four.)
- Then, you have to take inspired action (that’s when you get the first piece of snow rolling)
After that, the momentum becomes bigger and bigger. That’s when the law of attraction is in full force. But the first step needs to come from us. So what actions could you take to get the ball rolling? How about asking your desired person for a date? Or, if it’s your ex you want to get back, how about signaling that you are still in love and that you would like to talk? Once you have done the above steps, gained more clarity, and become more emotionally aligned with your desired outcome, by overcoming blocks and self-doubt, you will have enough confidence to take this big (inspired) step. You’ll see. And please, if you do manifest that specific person to fall in love with you, let me know. As I said at the beginning of this post, I love a good love story! P.S. Want some help on your manifestation journey & tips to manifest the life you love? Then join me here and get my best manifestation tips right into your inbox (Including a little welcome gift) Mia Fox is a bestselling author and the founder of the SelfMadeLadies.Community. After a decade as an NLP coach, helping women to overcome their abundance blocks and turn big dreams into reality, she started this manifestation blog in 2018, helping millions of readers with her action-based manifesting tips. In 2019 she published the manifestation book «Become the CEO of Your Dream Life,» which later became an award-winning manifestation course, teaching students in 222+ countries how to transform their lives with self-coaching.
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